let it die

162 days ago i wrote my last post on my blog. wow, that was along ago.and the key to have a good blog is updating it.well,i was busy with school and work but now i'm back *yay* and the good new is that i'm going to change the blog from a poetry kinda blog to a more analyzing issues kinda blog ummm well you gonna find out more in my next post,stay tuned hehe

now that i'm gone i'm just a memory in your stupid diary
i was an angel or a fairy
but now i'm nothing but a memory
just know that you ruined our story
by your stupidity

maybe i'm mean
maybe this is obscene
this is what we are now
you can scream or still have your stupid dreams
but it's over and i'am gone for real

i don't wanna fix this
i dont wanna deny the fact that i did it
yea u trusted me and i cheated
but the reason was you and you know it
i am a liar and a cheater but i was your life changer

maybe i'm mean
maybe this is obscence
this is what we are now
you can scream or still have your stupid dreams
but its over and i am gone for real

i don't know what time it is
why i'm here now
thousand of questions in my head
it seems like amillion years that i am here
still questions in my head without answers
i try to be myself
i try to be my friend

why i wanna die?
why we just wanna lie?
why are we tired of this life?
we have to make a move now
get out to be free
to be in my new world
get high to see
welcome to my world

thousand of new questions
thousand of people waiting for an answer
what do we want?i do know who i am
i try to find myself
i try to be ok

why wanna die?
why we just wanna lie?
why are we tired of this life?
we have to make a move now
get out to be free
to be in my new world
get high to see
welcome to my world

who gonna answer my questions?
who gonna feel the feelings i get?
who gonna let me in?
why does this world make me sick?

take a look around
we live in such a chaotic world
with fake lifestyles
and fake smiles
and we all know when we can't make it we try to fake it
but believe me
we are all so weak
we even don't came to this world with our own choice
some leave here when they get tired of it
but others still wanna fake it
so if you hate it
or you can't make it
go ahead and just fake it
yeah fake it and u never gonna leave it
although sometimes you can't take it but u gonna keep on fakig it seems like u never gonna get tired of it
so now you are all alone
coz you are fake
but tell me
didtn' u like it?
so when u gonna get tired of it u may gonna leave it
but others still gonna fake it
and know that u can't stop it
so if u hate it
or you can't make it
go ahead just fake it
although sometimes you can't take it but u gonna keep on faking it and it seems like you never gonna get tired of it
you look so worn today
but it's not just today
u look like this since the day u fake it
so just leave it
but no keep on doing it
see where it takes you
if u really don't care if we gonna miss the real you.
so if u hate it
or you can't make it
go ahead and fake it
yeah fake it just fake it i know some times u can't take it
do u hear them screaming ur name? telling u they've missed the real you
get out of there and show us you can be real
don't fake it!

i know i usually don't write personal things in here but today i feel like doing it.since last week i have this feeling,actually it's totally strange to me.things are going really well but i feel more and more depresed each day,things at university are going well, i am about to move out of this crappy place,my love life is ok but i feel down really down!sometimes i feel like i live in such a horrible world while things in my life are ok!!!!!! what's wrong with me?lol well the answer is is>>>>.i don't know!whatever
peace

you said you will be back but,no that was a lie
it's now three months & i am still waiting here
waiting for you to comeback home
and when i open my eyes in the morning
iwish to see you there
but you went away
but iam still waiting for that sunny day to come
and you get back home to where you belong
i sometimes see your shadow on my wall
and sometimes i hear you walking down the hall
but when i get there ,there is nothing but dreams
i think this is all my fault
i shouldn't let you go that day
but it's not really late
i am about to getaway from here
to be with you forever
so i am jumping off a cliff
to get way from all the things
all the lies,all the fights,all the fake things
i know it's sad but this really makes me wanna laugh
so i feel the air in my hair
and the voice in my ear
it says don't worry you are going somewhere better
so here comes my sunny day